...i hate this...

Have you ever felt defeated, like you're at a dead end? Well, thats how I feel right now, and I feel stuck. I don't think anyone will really understand how I feel. I feel as if I should be more advanced at the age that I am at, I feel as if I am not good enough for a lot of things and with all my dreams and aspirations its just a fantasy land that I am living in, and I despise it, making me not like myself fully. I know I have a lot to work on and I thought I was getting over this and I was maturing into this woman that I want to become but sitting here just made me realize that I have pushed those internal issues in the back of my mind, and they're just waiting to come out one day. Is this the day? Ugh...Its so much more than you think and yes I pray to God, and read my bible, and I feel like I've gotten closer to God but this feeling is in the back of my mind, and its not budging...so now what to do? I'm just going to put myself in my work, so I wont have to think about certain things, but when you're bad at almost everything how do you get out of it?