...currently at work bored and soo damn tired, all I can think about in the back of my mind is the guy. I have a pletora of different feelings towards him. I wish he would show me whether or not he was really interested, because he would say all these things and yet act a different way (games). I know he's going through a lot right now, but just like how he wants me to open up to him, I wish he would do the same for me. I didnt bother contacting him yesterday nor will I today, I'm tired of feeling like I am the one chasing him. Its time to sit back and see where this goes from here, if its meant to be it will be, but in the mean time I have a lot more important things to worry about.
Me and my first love been talking for a week now, just catching up on each others lives, and I even told him I wanted to see him, so I was considering flying or drving to go see him (he lives in a different state). Well yesterday reality just slapped me in the face again to why I'd rather not deal with him. He is someone I can not rely on and just like the guy I'm interested in its all words and no actions. He made it seem like he was down for it, and then last night he told me he didnt realize it was in September, after I've been telling him the date for about 2 days now. Then he told me he's now smoking some hard stuff. I wasn't surprised, but I was just like, well damn! He made it seem as if his life was going in the right direction but he failed to tell me that he still lives with his mother and now he smokes, and God only know what else he does. I am not putting myself in harms way, so I just told him forget it. If you can't be honset with me there's no need for me to waste my time.
PSA: I am by no means in need for a man, but I do want one. Especially for the days when you're tired of hanging with your girls all day. And do I have to remind you that winter is coming up which means cuddling season is almost here. Is it that hard for a man to act right for once. (When will I find the one for me?? Patiently waiting I guess...)
SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST---
I am so excited because I just got the email that I've been awarded the grant to go to Emory University Public Health Convention. I can't wait to broaden my horizon and see what the field of Public Health has to offer me.
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