Overwhelmed

Right now i feel overwhelmed with the mixed up emotions in me, they are not emotions i can easily describe to someone, they are emotions locked up in me that stays there until I am in a room all by myself and then they all let out. They let out slowly and tearfully i wanna be away from the world and the people in it. I think about my relationships and wonder how it would be, my mom tell me to not to give someone all your heart (until you are married) cuz they can easily break it even if they don't mean to, but how could i just not give some one my heart? Would i ever know how some one really loves me, or will it be a guessing game, even if he tells me that he loves me from deep within. Or is it a matter of me trusting people? I have been let down every single time that i don't believe what people say or trust them. I remember when i used to be optimistic but now I'm very pessimistic and it needs to change. I wonder if the real person is out there for me, or am I dating him right now. Only time will tell but what am I suppose to do now? Waste away my time! I need to live my life on goals right now and get those goals, and have nothing at all hold me back,, because like I say I can only live for me and God! And do what I know whats right for me. Not friends, boyfriends, peer pressure or w.e. I'm just tired of living my life like this, minimal, I'm not living it big, and that has to change.