Things I need to work on:
1. spending money on food, when I can just wait to go home and make some!
2. telling my friends things that they dont need to know about me...everyone doesnt need to know my business, even though they might say they're my friend.
3. reading my textbooks for class...but that are so dang boring...ugh lol!
4. Making more money
5. Not worrying about people to much...i think that's what stresses me the most...i'd rather be care free about that.
6. Love myself more and improve on my daily wardrobe
* I feel when people first see me they dont take me to be a 21 yr old young lady in college, they probably see as some "random" chick with hooded sweater (butthere so comfortable though). I want to improve my wardrobe so that my appearance wouldn't be so "dull" all of the time...dont get me wrong though I can dress up when I want to.
7. Meet a "friend" of the opposite sex...lol
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
...only Me
sometimes I just want to get lost in my own world, where everything makes sense and there's no drama....unfortunately that world is only in my imagination. [i thought these days were over...]
friendship??? whats that!!!
It seems like every time I write on my blog i'm just venting emotional things that bothers me alot.
Well this blog is about friendship..and how everytime I think I have a real close friend something bad happens between us, and today was the "ultimate"; me and my 4 closes friends feel that we are too comfortable with each other, meaning we (mainly one friend) just say somethings without thinking it through and sometimes makes one of our friends upset. Today was my time of being upset...but I was upset more than usual. To the point where we went home and fb chat each other and came up with the conclusion that if we dont like each other's company then we can stop being in each others company (well my friend brought that up not me)...laymen's term = stop being friends! When she said that I was just like wow...this is a girl that tries to make everyone her friend even when you can tell when the other person does not want to be her friend.
recap: bascially what happened was she was telling a story about her day and everyone was talking and she couldnt get it out...so she got an attitude and said she didnt want to talk anymore even though we told her she had the floor to speak...then she wants to blow up on me telling everyone I'm always so damn rude...basically embarrassing me infront of other friends and associates...if I wasnt the person that I am today I would've went off but instead I just gave her the silent treatment..and then she wants to call me moody I'm like WTF is that.
anyways I feel as if she's the type of person that like saying slick stuff but when its back at her she doesnt like it. Funny thing was she really wanted to live with me thie upcoming fall, but I told her I didnt think it was a good idea a while back since we always snap at each other...it just wouldnt be healthy.
I really thought she was a close friend of mine but like I told her when push comes to shove we see how people relationships really are. And I guess ours weren't really strong.
Going off of that whole story I've come to realize something about myself, I'm the kind of person that likes to keep my business to myself and do things my way, when I want to do it. I wouldnt call it selfish because that was how I was brought up. I was always thought to do things for myself and not depend on anyone or trust people to think that they would always have your back...i'm talking from experience also. I'm sorry that I can't always confide to a person everything I do or have done in life...thats just not me. People you see one day can leave you and never be seen again the next day. I thought I was growing into this "sisterhood" type of girl but when I think about it I'm definitly not. I hate having to meet someone one day and then everytime I see them I feel obligated to speak or say "HI" to them. Thats just not me. It may sound bitter, but I didn't grow up with people always around me especially girls. Dont get me wrong I enjoy spending time with people that makes me laugh but I know every good thing comes to an end, so there's no reason to linger on things that wont be there for too long. You know like a season ending or changing every few days like florida lol!
Anyways thats my vent for right now...semester is going pretty well...my internship is great...and I'm still claiming an A+ in all my classes <3
Well this blog is about friendship..and how everytime I think I have a real close friend something bad happens between us, and today was the "ultimate"; me and my 4 closes friends feel that we are too comfortable with each other, meaning we (mainly one friend) just say somethings without thinking it through and sometimes makes one of our friends upset. Today was my time of being upset...but I was upset more than usual. To the point where we went home and fb chat each other and came up with the conclusion that if we dont like each other's company then we can stop being in each others company (well my friend brought that up not me)...laymen's term = stop being friends! When she said that I was just like wow...this is a girl that tries to make everyone her friend even when you can tell when the other person does not want to be her friend.
recap: bascially what happened was she was telling a story about her day and everyone was talking and she couldnt get it out...so she got an attitude and said she didnt want to talk anymore even though we told her she had the floor to speak...then she wants to blow up on me telling everyone I'm always so damn rude...basically embarrassing me infront of other friends and associates...if I wasnt the person that I am today I would've went off but instead I just gave her the silent treatment..and then she wants to call me moody I'm like WTF is that.
anyways I feel as if she's the type of person that like saying slick stuff but when its back at her she doesnt like it. Funny thing was she really wanted to live with me thie upcoming fall, but I told her I didnt think it was a good idea a while back since we always snap at each other...it just wouldnt be healthy.
I really thought she was a close friend of mine but like I told her when push comes to shove we see how people relationships really are. And I guess ours weren't really strong.
Going off of that whole story I've come to realize something about myself, I'm the kind of person that likes to keep my business to myself and do things my way, when I want to do it. I wouldnt call it selfish because that was how I was brought up. I was always thought to do things for myself and not depend on anyone or trust people to think that they would always have your back...i'm talking from experience also. I'm sorry that I can't always confide to a person everything I do or have done in life...thats just not me. People you see one day can leave you and never be seen again the next day. I thought I was growing into this "sisterhood" type of girl but when I think about it I'm definitly not. I hate having to meet someone one day and then everytime I see them I feel obligated to speak or say "HI" to them. Thats just not me. It may sound bitter, but I didn't grow up with people always around me especially girls. Dont get me wrong I enjoy spending time with people that makes me laugh but I know every good thing comes to an end, so there's no reason to linger on things that wont be there for too long. You know like a season ending or changing every few days like florida lol!
Anyways thats my vent for right now...semester is going pretty well...my internship is great...and I'm still claiming an A+ in all my classes <3
Friday, January 1, 2010
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