Well the first week is coming to an end, and I can just feel the work load that will be placed upon me through out this semester and I am really not ready, but I wont let that bring me down. Classes that i thought might have been a breeze will not be, so I will need to study extra hard and stay on top of my work. Right now I am having the feeling of complete helplessness, I feel as if everyone know where they are going while I am just stagnant, and completely clueless to where I am going and headed. I have so many ideas in my head that it is hard for me to actually move off and get things done. This semester i plan on getting all A's with an exception of a B...because I have not taken any of these classes before, and for your info I am very bad in math!! I have also been stressing because i feel as if my significant other has many other things on his mind but me, (our one year anniversary is tomorrow) and that can sometimes can be a bit frustrating. I have my times when I am like you know what I'll just do things how ever i like it, because that's how I feel that he might be feeling. I need to get the mentality of a go-getter, i once had when I first came to college about a year ago, back on track. I feel as if this situation is sometimes holding me back from where I need to be meaning, volunteering, networking, etc. but i shouldn't say that because i cant blame anyone for my own faults and not staying on track with myself and what i came to college to do. Which was to get my degree, and be able to take care of my immediate family (dad mom, brothers) once i get my career started and going. Sometimes I have so much on my mind that i feel like a whirl pool of emotions that some how stays with me and on certain days wants to let right out, with out permission. ( I really don't know why I am even writing this on a public blog, since I a very private person and do not like people criticizing and judging my own emotions, especially since I have my pictures up for the world to see ME, but I guess somethings just change, and I really don't care what people have to say, because there will be always someone there to say something ). Anyways I just finished reading Midnight by Sister Souljah, and i loved every mintue of it. She captures me into the story and I can vividly see the places, people and things she writes about, and I can not wait to read the next book she writes. Well anyways I will be going to the library and the book store in a few minutes so i guess I am done writing in my public "diary" for right now!!
-Antiguan Princess
